


Gentle Sins

by ellathefairy



Category: Supernatural, Take Me to Church - Hozier (Music Video)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Beating, Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, Drinking, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Masturbation, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, conversion camp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-03-06 15:37:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18854002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellathefairy/pseuds/ellathefairy
Summary: a Destiel au where Castiel is being raised by his big brother Michael a preacher with a drinking and hitting problem, who teaches about how bad and how disgusting it is to be gay.Castiel who has been hardwired to believe being gay is a sin is in denial until he begins to realise he might be in love with his best friend Dean.this is sort of based off Take Me Church by HozierNote: The first chap is not very good but I PROMISE it gets better





	1. Who murdered the dinosaurs?

**Author's Note:**

> Listen to Take Me To Church on repeat while reading this to really break your heart

Castiel giggled, he knew he shouldn't, he knew when Michael's eyes landed on him over The pulpit he would have a night of pain, but when he looked over at Dean's grinning face, he decided it was worth it.

"Cas" Dean's deep voice was barely audible over the powerful blaring of Michael's. Castiel turned his head toward him raising his eyebrows in question.

"Do you think God feels bad for murdering the dinosaurs?" Dean asked with humor brighting his eyes.

Castiel put a hand over his mouth trying to hold back another laugh. "Dean what are you talking about?" he asked in a fond voice shaking his head.

"Well if God threw a meteor at earth to get rid of them and start over with a new plaything, I'll ask again. Do you think he feels bad for murdering the dinosaurs?"

This time Castiel couldn't control it, he threw his head back and laughed out, he froze though when he noticed Michael pause for just a second.

It might not have been long enough for anyone else to notice, but Castiel knew what it meant, he would spend another night trying to sleep with broken bones.

~~~~~~~~~~

As everyone filed out of the pews Castiel stayed behind as always to wait for Michael, and as always Dean wasn't far behind.

Castiel watched Dean across the room as he caught up to Sam, Dean came to church just to keep Castiel company, he didn't believe in any of the God crap as he called it, but Sam was a strong believer, he even helped out with youth group Wednesdays.

If anything Dean ever said bothered Sam he never let it show, but that just could be because he would gladly follow him into hell. After Sam and Dean's mother had died when Dean was just five, Dean basically took on the role of father to Sam, since their father, John, was hardly around.

Their father had developed a drinking problem, and took to taking all his anger out on Dean. If he ever even looked like he was going to hit Sam, Dean jumped in the way and took those beatings as well.

He wasn't a good man but he did love them, in his own twisted way. Dean basically worshiped the ground he walked on, but he was more of a drill Sargent then he was a father to Dean, and Dean followed him almost blindly.

It was hard to follow someone who was absent more times than not though.

If Dean worshiped him, then Sam hated John. Of course he loved his father, but he hated his shortcomings, and he hated that he beat Dean.

Dean always tried to hide how bad things were with his father from Castiel, but he knew.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel was drawn out of his thoughts when he noticed not one, but two Winchesters headed his way. A smile broke out on his face as he waited watching them walk, his eyes meeting with Deans green ones.

"Cas, come on dude" Dean hollered while waving at him "we're going to the Roadhouse".

The Roadhouse was a diner and bar that Ellen, Sam and Dean's honorary aunt owned. She was the wife to Bobby Singer, the only father they ever truly knew. Together her and Bobby had Jo.

Jo was one of their best friends, she was basically a sister to them.

"Okay" Castiel mouthed, his face turning red when he noticed some of the other people looking their way, seeking out Dean's loud voice.

Castiel meet up with them and they made a be line for the door, Sam talking about something that had happened to his friend Jess, and Castiel and Dean listening quietly.


	2. Twilight

Castiel sat beside Dean, Sam in the back talking animatedly about something school related.

They were all in Dean's baby, otherwise known as a 1967 Chevy impala, a car he had gotten from his father on one of his better days.

AC/DC blared through the speakers, followed by Deans voice as he sang along, flying down the road, on their way to the Roadhouse.

When they arrived at the roadhouse, Dean was the first to jump out- barely having time enough to cut off the car-most likely in a rush to have his usual, bacon cheeseburger with chili cheese fries.

Castiel wondered sometimes how he stayed so fit with the way he was always stuffing his mouth.

Castiel and Sam exited the car in a more timely fashion, catching up to Dean at the door.

"My boys" greeted them as they walked in, Ellen behind the bar the greeter, was always happy to see 'her boys'.

"The usual" Dean said slapping the bar.

Castiel opted for just a regular burger with fries while Sam ordered the only salad they would probably make at the roadhouse that day.

~~~~~~

The sun was setting when they started to leave. Castiel loved this time of day, he thought it was almost magical in a way. It seemed all the bad things that had happened that day could melt away and be replaced.

Castiel shook his head at his childish thoughts, nothing could erase the bad, but maybe something good could take its place.

"Hey Cas, you coming?" Dean asked quietly, placing his hand on Castiel's arm, and bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Hmm?" Castiel replied turning to look at him, and then "oh, yes" after realizing what he had asked.

~~~~~~~~~~

Castiel was as tense as ever when Dean finally pulled in front of his house. He stared up at the dark house praying that Michael wasn't home, or already in bed.

He jumped a little when Dean layed his hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, do you want to stay over at my house tonight?" Dean asked hopefully. Dean didn't know the full extent of Michael's beatings but he knew by the look on Castiel's face when he saw his brother that it was bad.

Castiel thought about it, he really did, but he knew what was coming for him would be even worse if he put it off.

He slowly got out the car and started walking towards his house.

"Text me you get in!" Castiel turned around to see Dean hanging out his side window, with a goofy smile on his face.

Castiel couldn't stop the smile that lit up his face.

"I will" he called back in a quieter voice.

He tried to open the front door without making any sound, if he was lucky Michael was all ready in bed.

He slowly stuck his head in the house to look, he was completely dark and he hoped that meant he was asleep.

Castiel tiptoed upstairs, trying to not breath, he was sure now that Michael was asleep, and if he could just make it to his room he wouldn't have to worry about him until tomorrow after school.

As he got closer to his door he could feel the anxiety leave him.

Castiel breathed a sigh of relief as he opened the door to his pitch black room. He stepped in and closed the door, turning to hang up his trench coat.

A sound across his room made him pause. He heard a click and his heart stopped when his lamp came on illuminating his brother.

"You were out with _that boy_ again weren't you?"


	3. That Boy Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is without a beta

" _That boys_ name is Dean" Castiel said, immediately regretting it, and snapping his mouth closed.

"I-I mean y-yes sir, s-sorry" he stammered trying and failing to back up even farther, considering the door was at his back.

"Yes, well that boy Dean, is a bad influence" Michael spat Dean's name like it was poison in his mouth.

Michael was slowly advancing on him, like he was a predator and Castiel was his prey.

He was directly in front of him now, and Castiel knew what was coming, he had known since he laughed out in church hours before.

As Michael's hand drew back Castiel closed his eyes tightly and prayed.

**********  
Castiel was in and out of sleep when he heard his phone ring, reaching to get it caused great pain.

Michael's beatings had been bestial tonight and Castiel was sure he had at least two broken ribs.

He shuffled and grunted in pain until he finally reached his phone on his bedside table.

"Hello?" He asked, trying to mask the pain in his voice. "Cas" Castiel smiled upon hearing Dean's voice "are you alright?" Dean asked cautiously "yes I'm fine, I was just in bed" he laughed nervously.

"O-kay you never called, so I was just calling to check on you, and say goodnight" Dean whispered

"I'm sorry, I'm fine, goodnight Dean" Castiel whispered back trying to hold back his tears.

"Goodnight Cas, I'll text you in the morning" they said a few more things until they finally hung up.

Castiel drifted to sleep crying.

**********  
Castiel felt like he had been ran over in hell, the next morning.

But he made himself trudge out of bed anyway, considering it was a school day.

Getting good grades and finishing school was his only way out of that town and away from his brother.

He was dressed and out the door before Michael woke, like most mornings.

The Impala blocking his driveway brought a smile to his face. Dean picking him up wasn't anything new, but nevertheless it always felt like a surprise.

"Are you just gonna stand there with that goofy grin on your face, or are you gonna get in?" Dean called from his window.

He all but skipped up to the car "Where's Sam?" Cas asked as he got in. It was rare when Dean wasn't also driving Sam to school.

"He's home he's got a cold, I told him to stay in bed cause Dad won't be around today."

"So its just us today." Dean said with a smile

"Where to Mr. Novak?" Dean asked with a bad British accent.

Castiel giggled slapping at Dean's arm as they sped down the road towards the school.

**************

English had always been easy for Castiel, and having Dean right beside him made it his favourite time of day.

"Who was Odysseus' greatest adversary, in your own opinion?"

Castiel's hand shot up "yes, Mr. Novak" Mr. Barduex pointed at him.

"I think Odysseus's greatest adversary in my own opinion, was Poseidon himself, because none of the other stuff would have ever happened if it hadn't been for Poseidon"

"Very good Castiel, that's what you'll write your paper on." Mr. Bardeux stated while turning to face the rest of the class.

"As for the rest of you, think about the question, and find a partner." 

Groans sounded around the classroom as kids started shuffling out of their chairs looking for a partner. 

Castiel turned towards Dean with a small smile on his face " Wanna be my partner?" Dean scoffed "NO"

Castiel smirked "I guess i'll just go find someone else then"

"Dude I was joking" Dean Deadpanned

 _I know_ Castiel thought moving his chair closer to Dean and getting to work.

Dean always knew when Castiel was feeling down or had a bad night.


End file.
